The Power of Team

I am an introvert.  It is natural for me to want to be alone, a lot.  I’m sure there are others like me around, but I don’t know anyone else who enjoys being alone as much as me.  Ha!

I do work with others quite a bit in the ministries I’m involved in.  And don’t get me wrong, I totally enjoy it.  But sometimes due to my nature, I tend to get on a streak of being alone, planning alone, thinking alone, analyzing alone, and carrying burdens alone.

Today my MOPS teammates and I worked together on a Facebook party for our MOPS communities and it was like a lightbulb turned on for me.  Time alone and working alone can be good for me – but I can also tend to isolate myself too much.

I saw so many positives in the collaboration and teamwork we had today.   It is a great reminder (and probably a much needed one) that God has called us in most circumstances to partner with others in our work for Him.

Maybe you also need a nudge to be less isolated or to accept more opportunities to work alongside others?

I know the following list is probably not really new to you – and not to me, either.  But today was just such a good example of these benefits of teamwork that I can’t help but share.  I don’t want to forget, and in case YOU need a reminder – here is the “power of team” that I saw today:

  • We can encourage one another to step outside of our self-imposed comfort zones.
  • Our ideas and effort, put together, have synergy – meaning that the result is more than each of us could have accomplished alone.
  • We can step in for each other’s weaknesses.
  • Working together can ignite a spark of motivation and energy in a teammate who needs it.
  • We can learn from each other.
  • We can learn about each other, and about ourselves.  Learning more about our teammates draws us closer together.
  • Working alongside one another gives us opportunities to provide more personal support and encouragement to each other.
  • We share the burden of the work.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 – Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. (New Living Translation)

 

 

 

 

Rest for the Weary

I don’t know about you, but I am so, so weary.

The election debacle, tragic stories in the news, and controversy within the church at large.  Even arguments in my own home.

I have felt alternately riled up, worn down, and again, just weary of it all.  Anyone else?

I don’t have the answers, except that Jesus IS the answer.

Consider these verses (all emphasis mine):

Psalm 119:28

“My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.”

Isaiah 40:29

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

Matthew 11:28

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

God’s word and His presence refresh, provide strength, and give rest.  I am so grateful.

I’m praying that you are able to sit with God for a few moments today and just rest in Him.

What to do when you don’t know what to do.

It was mid-2001.  I had a newborn (my first).  I was beginning to learn that the norm of motherhood is not having all the answers (or, really, any of the answers).

I had also committed to reading through the bible for the first time that year.  I may have been a little optimistic in my goal setting, huh?

I got through Genesis and Exodus pretty easily – after all, they are pretty fascinating stories!  Then I hit Leviticus and to be honest, I started to wonder not only about my level of commitment to this goal, but also about whether or not the Old Testament would have many lessons for my daily life.  I stuck with it.  And was amazed by the store of wisdom from God in those pages.

I remember happening upon the story of Jehoshaphat, King of Israel, in 2 Chronicles Chapter 20.  He  was one of the kings who did seek God – in fact in Chapter 19, he was described as having his heart set on God.  So in Chapter 20 we find him with an opposing nation coming at him intent on war.  And this verse is the one that caught my attention because it resonated with me – verse 21 – “Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”  In other words – he was crying out to God to manage this situation because he knew he couldn’t.  He didn’t know what to do, so he did what he was able- he set not only his heart but his eyes on God.

Sound familiar to any of you?  I have come back to this verse again and again through my years of mothering because there are so many times I don’t know what to do.  Can you relate?

The amazing thing in this story is what happens next.  God hears Jehoshaphat’s prayer and answers it by giving a message to Jehoshaphat through someone in his community.  Verses 15-17 share what this man said to Jehoshaphat, “This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.  Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel.  You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.”‘

God speaks such sweet words of encouragement to Jehoshaphat:  I’ve got this.  Don’t be afraid.  Don’t get discouraged because you don’t know what to do.  Even though the circumstances look bleak, you will get through this with my help.  I won’t leave you alone.

Listen up, friends.  God is speaking the same words of encouragement to you today.  If you are in a place where you don’t know what to do next, it’s ok!  All you have to do is set your eyes on Him.  Look to Him for guidance and direction.  Trust Him and He will provide.

Four Ways to Feel Angry Less

So as I previously posted, I had spoken about mom anger at a MOPS group last month.  I thought I should take the time to share a bit of what I shared with that group.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you know that I’ve struggled with controlling my responses towards my kids when I’m angry.  Over the years, through trial and error, lots of practice with anger management techniques, and lots of help from the Holy Spirit, I’ve definitely improved.  But along the way I’ve also learned that there are proactive things I can do to help me feel angry less often.

Here are four things you can do to stop angry feelings before they start:

  • Understand Your Anger

Look at your anger as a warning light.  It can be an indicator of changes you need to make.  Ask yourself two questions:  “Are there underlying emotions or stresses in my life that cause me to feel angry?” and, “Are there certain situations or circumstances that tend to trigger my angry feelings?”.  If you track your angry feelings over a period of time, you will likely find common triggers for your anger.  Once you know the triggers, then you can focus on making changes that will prevent or decrease your triggers and result in less anger.

  • Make Time for Self-care

Mothering can be tough and can push you to the limit of your physical, emotional, and mental energy.  If you are feeling empty it is so much easier to act out in anger.  Be sure you are taking time to care for yourself.  Determine what revives and refreshes you, and do it!  Investing in your self-care not only benefits you, but it benefits your family as well.

  • Get Perspective and Support from Friends

Friendships can help you on this journey in so many ways!  Having some deep and authentic friendships gives perspective, support, accountability, and encouragement.  Sometimes your expectations of yourself or your kids are too high, leading to frustration and anger.  Friends can provide perspective.  Friends can support you by praying for you and by holding you accountable for your responses.  Sometimes a hug and word of encouragement from a friend can take you a step further to healing.

  • Seek God in Your Weakness

Struggles can be an avenue for growing faith in God.  Nehemiah 9:17 says, “…you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.”  Getting to know God better and growing closer to Him brings change in our lives because we become more like him.

If you struggle with anger, know that you are not alone.  You are not outside the limits of God’s love, and He can bring change in you.

Tell me, have you struggled with anger as a mom?  What are your best tips for feeling angry less and also for managing your responses when you’re angry?

His mercies are new every morning.

So today I spoke at a local MOPS group about anger.

You guys, I can’t even tell you what an amazing God we have.

There was a mom there who I felt was the reason I was there.  I could just tell by the look in her eyes and some of her comments that she is where I was years ago.

Prone to anger and wondering how she became an angry mom.  Asking herself and God why controlling herself when she feels angry is so hard.  Feeling like a failure as a mom.  Filled with guilt.  Probably shame.  Hoping against all hope that she hasn’t messed up her kids too badly.

But God.  God was there in that room with us.  By the grace of God alone have I been changed, and by the grace of God alone am I able to share my story.  And it’s not just my story, but it’s really His story.

A story of grace, mercy, forgiveness, love – beyond explanation.

I shared lots of practical tips.  But that’s not the important part. The important part I shared is that if as a mom you struggle with anger – you are not alone.  And there is hope for change.

That hope comes from God alone.  Nehemiah 9:17 says “…you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.”

Any change in me has come from getting to know and understand and FEEL and accept God’s love for me.

He is forgiving,

gracious,

compassionate,

slow to anger,

abounding in love.

When we get closer to Him, we become like Him.  We can become forgiving, gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love for our kids.

I have struggled with anger – which led to guilt and then depression – for years.  I would make imperfect progress, but it was so, so slow.  At times I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t bringing the change in me that I hoped for.  The thing was that this struggle was more about my growing in my relationship with Him than it was about my relationship with my kids.

And all of the sudden this year, I feel like the “morning” has come and the dark cloud of night is gone.  God’s mercy is new.  For the first time in probably 12 years I feel like I have a measure of victory – all because of Him.  And I say that knowing full well that I still need to rely on Him every moment.  I can’t explain His process well – but I know my part in it was seeking Him over and over again, not giving up, and continuing to surrender myself to His will.

And today I’m just amazed at His mercy, grace, and faithfulness to me.  Over the years I have always stood on Romans 8:28-29, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”  I didn’t know how God would use this struggle for good, but I trusted.

All along as I’ve made slow progress in this area, I’ve known that He was pulling me closer and making me more like Jesus, as it says in verse 29.  But seeing Him today use my struggle to encourage and point someone else toward Him was more beautiful than I could ever ask for.

God is so good.

This hope.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. "
~Hebrews 16:19  

Life gets real, doesn’t it?

It seems like in your 40s, it gets really real.  Marriages end.  You can no longer control your kids exposure to “the world” as much as you might want to.  People get sick.  Maybe you aren’t where you thought you’d be at this point in life.  Your own body starts to turn against you.  You lose your job.  You lose loved ones.  Someone close to you gets cancer.  Your kids make mistakes – maybe big ones.  There are new challenges to deal with.

All of these with increasing regularity.

Really Real, I tell you!  I feel it and I see it and I experience it in and around me.

But this.  God has been providing us with some amazingly beautiful sunrises lately.  Not only does the sun rise every morning, even on hard days – but the creator of all things gives us a bonus and makes it beautiful for us.

sunrise

It has just been a reminder for me that my hope is solely in God.  He is faithful, unchanging, and loves me more than I can fathom.

This hope.

This hope is an anchor for my soul.

Happy 2016!

Merry Christmas (a few weeks late) and Happy New Year!

Here’s a picture of our family at church on Christmas Eve.  It’s been so long since we’ve actually gotten a picture together as a family and it kind of shocked me to see how tall my kids have gotten!

22

So 2016 is here, the kids have been back to school for a week now, and I guess it’s time to reflect on where I’ve been and where I feel God calling me in this new year.

Although I just posted in December about these verses having been laid upon my heart last year, I feel God continuing to tell me I need to keep these in focus for 2016.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

This is what I wrote in my prayer journal a few days ago – so that I could put these themes into practice in my life.

Rejoice always – find joy in being present with my people (not being distracted by to-do lists or technology), live life to the full as if today is my last day (John 10:10), focus on the positive

Pray continually – continue to spend time with God each morning, get better at seeking Him during the day before responding/reacting to situations, pray instead of worry, make a habit of praying as a couple

Give thanks – continue my thankfulness journal, search for the good that God might bring out of every situation, be content with what and to where God has brought me

Feel free to remind me of these throughout the year if you think I’ve forgotten!

Where do you feel God calling you to focus your energy in 2016?