Top 10 Ways to Identify the Mom Whose Kids Have Lice at School

These are in no particular order.

And they may or may not be, uh, from personal experience.

  1. Look for the mom who is itching her head.  (Fact: 90% of moms treating kids with lice actually get lice from their licey-headed kiddos.)  And even if she’s not itching from lice, she’s itching just from thinking about them.  And if you see her, you might just notice SHE is looking around for people itching their heads because she’s trying to figure out where in the world her kid picked up lice.
  2. Despite all her children being school-aged, the mom is appearing as exhausted and emotional as a mom with a newborn.  That’s because she’s up doing laundry till all hours of the night.  She might just start crying if you ask her how she’s doing.  Because this is more overwhelming and stressful than you might even imagine.
  3. She’s the mom you run into at CVS with a ginormous sized laundry detergent and one hand behind her back.  (that hand’s holding the RID)  And despite the fact that anyone can get lice – they have nothing to do with cleanliness – she will feel like she’d rather run out of the store like a crazy woman before she lets you see that RID.
  4. If you could check her internet history, you’d see ninety-eleven searches related to lice.  Things like “how to eliminate lice”, “how long can lice hold their breath under water?”, “how long can you have lice and not know it?”, “when can my kids go back to school after having lice?”, and “what’s the best way to tell the parent of your child’s friend that your child has lice?”.  Really there’s no easy way out of that last one – just straightforward humbling honesty. 
  5. She might be the one mumbling crazy things like, “I wonder how much it costs to have a pet monkey?” and then “Nope, that’s crazy – it’ll get lice, too.”
  6. Her house is in disarray because all she has been doing is laundry, changing sheets, vacuuming floors and furniture, and spending hours (literally hours) combing out her kids’ hair.  (Especially lucky for her if the lice-habitats are girls with long-ish hair.)
  7. Her credit card bill will show (large) charges at places with funny-sounding names like “Naughty Nits”.  And charges for laundry detergent and RID (see #2 above).  And charges for Robi Combs. And tea-tree oil shampoo.  And rosemary leave-in conditioner.  And maybe extra mayonnaise, olive oil, and tea-tree oil.  And anything else she thinks might, one: eliminate these crappy bugs from her home, and two: prevent this from EVER, EVER, happening again.  EVER.
  8. She is wearing her hair up.  All the time now.  (and trying to get her girls to do it also.)  Again, in order to prevent the contraction and spread of the dreaded lice.
  9. You might see her multiple times in a two week period cruising the fast-food drive-thru lane.  Because as you might imagine, there is not a lot of time to make dinner in between two 2-hour hair comb-outs per night.
  10. And last, but not least, she’s the mom who is anywhere and everywhere (and with anyone who will listen) sharing crazy facts about lice, lice elimination, and lice prevention.  Because even though she felt embarrassed and horrified and alone when she found out her kid had lice, she has since discovered several of her friends’ kids have had lice.  And she figures that if moms actually started talking about it, the next mom who discovers unwanted guests on her kids’ hair won’t feel so alone.

Stay tuned for my next post.

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4 thoughts on “Top 10 Ways to Identify the Mom Whose Kids Have Lice at School

  1. Oh I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with that lately. I still remember when my family all had lice when I was younger. I still remember my mom hanging out all kinds of blankets, etc., out on the lawn! And going to the laundromat repeatedly…

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