~ knowing what I didn’t want to know ~

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged.  For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged.  For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

How ironic that this verse was my kids’ memory verse for church last weekend and we repeated it over and over on the way to church (yes, we are procrastinators!). 

The following day, I got a call from the TrialNet coordinator and I learned some info that earlier in the month I had been wondering, Do I Really Want to Know?  I had ended that post with the same verse – Joshua 1:9.  It IS ironic.  But it’s not a coincidence.

Jesus assured us in Matthew that the Holy Spirit would be with us, reminding us of all God has said to us.  (John 14:26  “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”)
The Holy Spirit has obviously been whispering to me!

What I found out is that my oldest child has elevated levels of one of the three autoantibodies that is tested in Phase 1 of TrialNet – these autoantibodies are used as a screening test for increased risk of Type 1 diabetes.  I have done much reading since then, and as far as I can tell, this translates into her having about a 15% chance of getting diabetes in her lifetime.  (To give you some perspective, a child with no family history of diabetes and no elevated autoantibodies has a 0.2% chance of getting diabetes.)

Honestly I have had a difficult time dealing with this news.  And in a way that surprised me.  I have had diabetes for 26 years.  I knew when I had children that they would have a higher risk.  But this news just made it real to me.

I keep telling myself that things could be worse.  People can live active, healthy lives with diabetes.  This is not a death sentence.  However, I also know the day-in and day-out struggles of living with this disease.  The way the word “complications” and all that it entails is a stark reality that never leaves the back of my mind.  The fact that people with diabetes have a shorter lifespan.  These things are what makes this hard for me.

So what does this mean for us in the short term?  Well, it means another blood draw to confirm the results, probably within the next week or two.  Then if the results are confirmed, she will be included in Phase 2 of the study.  Phase 2 is additional testing (including genetic testing) that will give us a more exact risk of her being diagnosed with diabetes within the next 5 years.

Wouldn’t you know it – she was the only one of the three kids that had trouble with her first blood draw.  It definitely didn’t go well for her.  Blood draws don’t phase me in the least, but she’s not me.  They had to stick her twice and they even had trouble getting enough blood.  It was traumatic.  Would you please pray that the next goes smoothly and for her peace of mind during the testing?

I would also ask you to pray for me as I continue to deal with this news.  Pray that God’s words become my true reality…

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5 thoughts on “~ knowing what I didn’t want to know ~

  1. I will be praying for both of you. I have 3 siblings that are Type 1 diabetics so we are no stranger to all of it. I often worry about my own kids getting it someday, so I understand what you are going through to some extent. Thankfully, as you said, it’s not a death sentence and it could be worse. God has a plan though. It will all work out. I’ll be praying.

  2. Steph,

    I’m sorry that you got this news. Nothing makes a momma’s heart feel more broken then to think of her child suffering. Keep trusting that God knows the plan for her life and that He is looking for us to take Him at His word, believing and trusting in His promises.

    love ya,
    Meg

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