So, in an effort to be more real, I thought I’d post about my biggest weakness these days. Anger. There you have it… I’m Stephanie and I’m angry.
Well, maybe not most of the time. But sometimes. I never thought of myself as a person disposed to fits of anger… until I had kids. It seems like not a day goes by that I feel like yelling at one of my kids in anger! In the past 24 hours, these things have made me feel angry:
arguing between my two oldest children. It never seems to stop.
my kids not obeying me. You know, having to ask several times for them to do something and they pretty much ignore you or give you attitude.
my husband burying his face in his computer and ignoring the misbehavior.
That’s probably not all of it, but it gives you an idea.
Anyways, I have been on a journey the past few years to have more self-control when I feel angry. Two things I’ve heard about anger that have helped me are that (1) when you show anger, you’re showing your weakness, not your strength, and (2) anger is a secondary emotion. In other words, when you feel angry it is because you are feeling something else – embarrassment, frustration, etc., and to control your anger you need to know why you’re angry. I’ve also relied on the following verses:
James 1:19-20 “…be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keep himself under control.”
Ephesians 4:31 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger…”
God’s word has a lot to say about anger, and I’m still finding verses that apply. Bottom line is that responding in anger – especially with my children – is not helpful. It usually just causes more problems. I’ve already seen these problems in my own kids – they are learning how to respond with anger because that’s what I’ve been modeling, they feel hurt when I respond with anger, and their misbehavior escalates when I respond with anger.
But they have also seen me modeling how to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness when I mess up. So I’m still working on it. I still struggle. I don’t know if it’s something I’ll ever feel like I’ve mastered. But I know that I need to keep trying.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
What are you struggling with and relying on God to help you overcome?