Weak with anger

So, in an effort to be more real, I thought I’d post about my biggest weakness these days.  Anger.  There you have it… I’m Stephanie and I’m angry.

Well, maybe not most of the time.  But sometimes.  I never thought of myself as a person disposed to fits of anger… until I had kids.  It seems like not a day goes by that I feel like yelling at one of my kids in anger!  In the past 24 hours, these things have made me feel angry:

  • arguing between my two oldest children.  It never seems to stop.
  • my kids not obeying me.  You know, having to ask several times for them to do something and they pretty much ignore you or give you attitude.
  • my husband burying his face in his computer and ignoring the misbehavior.

 That’s probably not all of it, but it gives you an idea.

Anyways, I have been on a journey the past few years to have more self-control when I feel angry.  Two things I’ve heard about anger that have helped me are that (1) when you show anger, you’re showing your weakness, not your strength, and (2) anger is a secondary emotion.  In other words, when you feel angry it is because you are feeling something else – embarrassment, frustration, etc., and to control your anger you need to know why you’re angry.  I’ve also relied on the following verses:

James 1:19-20 “…be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Proverbs 29:11 “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keep himself under control.”

Ephesians 4:31 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger…”

God’s word has a lot to say about anger, and I’m still finding verses that apply.  Bottom line is that responding in anger – especially with my children – is not helpful.  It usually just causes more problems.   I’ve already seen these problems in my own kids – they are learning how to respond with anger because that’s what I’ve been modeling, they feel hurt when I respond with anger, and their misbehavior escalates when I respond with anger. 

But they have also seen me modeling how to admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness when I mess up.  So I’m still working on it.  I still struggle.  I don’t know if it’s something I’ll ever feel like I’ve mastered.  But I know that I need to keep trying. 

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

What are you struggling with and relying on God to help you overcome?

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