TTAH Tuesday – Shopping Date
One of our traditions is to take a day in December, just my hubby and I, to do our Christmas shopping. We get a babysitter (usually one of the grandmas) and we spend the whole day – just the two of us – together.
It’s like a day-long date. Almost like playing hooky (although I assure you, Dave legitimately takes a vacation day). We shop, we talk, we eat lunch out together. It’s great.
There’s something special about having lunch together for us – because, I think, it only happens once a year! It’s fun and refreshing. And I like shopping together because then he can help me pick out presents for the kids – it doesn’t all fall on me.
So if it’s possible for you / your husband to take a day off to go shopping, go ahead and do it. You just might make it a tradition!
Is your marriage fireproofed?
This past Saturday was our 11th anniversary. We celebrated by going out to dinner and a movie. (It may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is to us – the last movie we saw together at the movie theatre was The Passion of the Christ!)
Anyways, Dave planned our “date” and picked the movie – “Fireproof” with Kirk Cameron. It was a total chick flick, but it was great. It was a perfect anniversary movie – to remind each of us of the committment we made to each other and to God 11 years ago.
I am so blessed to have Dave. We are best friends and we, for the most part, get along well together. Even when we don’t see eye to eye, I think we do a pretty good job of loving each other in spite of the difference of opinion.
The movie definitely gave me a lot to think about…
- Have I totally surrendered my life to Christ and as a result do I put my husband’s needs ahead of my own on a daily basis (read Philippians Ch. 2)? Do I do this joyfully?
- Do I continue to practice acts of kindness to my husband on a daily basis?
- Do I hold back my words when what I want to say is not helpful or kind?
- Have I made a committment to my husband to love him (in thoughts and in actions) even when I think he may not “deserve it”?
I would definitely suggest this movie for any couple – no matter where your marriage is at. It was totally encouraging and inspirational.
There is a website associated with the movie and it’s worth checking out:
It includes lots of resources for couples who want to invest in their marriage and make it the best it can possibly be.
Check it out and have a great day!
TTAH Tuesday – Words of Affirmation
Our ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship) at church (that’s code for Sunday School Class), we are doing a study called “Building Your Marriage”.
This past Sunday we were asked to go around the room and tell everyone one thing we loved or appreciated about our spouse. At first I thought it was kind of corny. But by the time we got around the room I was nearly in tears. Imagine 15 or so couples honestly saying what they love about their spouses. It was lovely. I heard words like support, dedication, dependable, commitment, passion, love, and fun. These are things that lasting marriages are made of.
Dave wasn’t even there, but it still felt great to tell everyone what I love about him.
So my tip for today is to tell your spouse what you love about them. Maybe you can even slip it in when you’re around some other people. Do it without expecting any kind of response. I think it does wonders for your relationship to be vulnerable and honest with one another and to build one another up with your words.
Take this step to make your marriage stronger and try this at home today! Let me know how your spouse responds!
TTAH Tuesday – Setting Goals
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
My tip for today is to set goals at least annually with your husband. We are both engineering-types, so goal-setting and list-making come naturally to us. We also have both worked in the business world, where this type of thing is encouraged and usually mandated.
Early on in our marriage, we applied this to our family. We find it best to do at the beginning of the year, but essentially you could do it at any time.
We get a babysitter and go out to dinner. This is definitely best done without the constant interruption of children!
We talk about where we want to be in one year as individuals and as a family. We try to set a couple of individual goals (e.g., lose x pounds, read through the bible, exercise x times/week, etc.). And then we also try to set family goals (e.g., family game night twice/month, go out on a date once/month, save x dollars, etc.). Often we pray about the items we put on the list – it’s a way to acknowledge that we are making plans but not forgetting that God is in control of our lives. (Proverbs 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps.”)
We find that the process of doing this really brings us together – emotionally and spiritually. We find that even after years of marriage, we still want a lot of the same things out of life. Sometimes we learn something new about the other person… it offers us the opportunity to see how each of us is changing and growing. And there’s something about just talking about the future – about your dreams and hopes – that can bring down any walls you’ve built between you and really help your relationship.
We also find that the reaching of the goals brings us together as well. We can encourage one another. Much of the time, the goals themselves are things that are meant to grow us as a family. We can also celebrate together when we reach our goals.
We’ve saved each year’s list of goals since we’ve been doing this. It’s amazing to go back and look at where we’ve been and where we are now. Doing that gives us a feeling of mutual accomplishment and hope for the future.
So I encourage you to think about doing this in your marriage. Don’t wait until the end of the year – start now!!
