TTAH Tuesday – “Meet me in the bathroom”
Do you have a child that you struggle to discipline? One that pushes all your buttons? Do you feel like discipline escalates into a battle? Do you have a hard time controlling your own anger?
If so, then this tip is for you. I learned this at a MOPS convention from speaker and author Lisa Whelchel.
I guess I should state the obvious… to begin with, you should have set rules and expectations for behavior that your child has been told and understands. Then when your child misbehaves, use this technique. Simply tell them to “meet you in the bathroom.” The location could actually be anywhere, but it needs to be a place that isn’t any fun.
With my oldest daughter, I was finding that misbehavior and discipline were becoming battles. Battles of ever-increasing volume, anger, and bad behavior (in all honesty, from both of us). I started to use this technique and it was a huge help. First off, it allowed us both time to cool off. For her, I use it not as a time-out (we don’t even call it that) but instead a time to think about what just happened and calm down.
I use the time to: calm down (discussion, and discipline, should not happen when I’m angry). I pray, asking God to give me wisdom about how to constructively deal with the situation. I make sure that she has calmed down as well – no discussion will take place until she has stopped any yelling, whining, etc. Then, I go to her and ask some questions… What did you do that was wrong? Why was it wrong? How can you do better next time?
This usually leads to a good conversation and then possibly further discipline if necessary. But it is always better than dealing with misbehavior on the spur-of-the-moment when tempers are flaring.
Try this at home and let me know if it works for you, too!!
A Timely Poem
As I’m packing, I’m throwing giving stuff away and throwing out a lot. I ran across the following poem in a book I’m reading – Improving Your Serve by Chuck Swindoll. (The book is fabulous, by the way, and I highly recommend it!!). It’s a reminder that I’m to be storing up treasures in heaven, not here in this life (Matthew 6:19):
One by one He took them from me
All the things I valued most;
‘Til I was empty-handed,
Every glittering toy was lost.
And I walked earth’s highways, grieving,
In my rags and poverty.
Until I heard His voice inviting,
“Lift those empty hands to Me!”
Then I turned my hands toward heaven,
And He filled them with a store
Of His own transcendent riches,
‘Til they could contain no more.
And at last I comprehended
With my stupid mind, and dull,
That God cannot pour His riches
Into hands already full.
-Source Unknown
Does this resonate with you like it did me today? Care to share?
SOLD…
For those of you who haven’t driven by our house lately… it’s SOLD!
I am so bummed. I took a photo of our SOLD sign so I could put it in this post… but for some reason I can’t get it from the camera to the computer. That’s why it’s taken me sooo long to write this post. Grrr. If I wasn’t a past Kodak employee I might have some choice things to say about this digital camera. But I’m getting off track…
Anyways, we are thrilled to be moving to what amounts to our dream house. We love the house we are buying and can’t wait to move in. And it will be soon. Maybe by next weekend. We’ve started packing, but slowly. I better kick it into high gear!!
Gotta go pack!
TTAH Tuesday – Better yet, tell a story…
Good morning!
My tip for today is read to your kids. Any and every chance you get. My kids love it and will happily exchange TV for a book. Did I mention I’m a book person?? We even have quite a few books that I saved from when I was a kid. We love them, and keep on taping them just to keep them together.
But let’s get on to the point of this post…
Better yet, tell a story. My kids LOVE it when Dave or I either make up a story or tell about something that happened to us in story-form. When we make up a story, we ask them to come up with a character (e.g., frog, dog, bird, etc.) and an activity (e.g., biking, swimming, etc.). Anything goes. The sillier the better. For older kids, have them make up part of the story themselves. I’m not too good at voices, but Dave is, and the kids think it’s also extra special when he adds silly voices to the characters. It even makes me laugh, too.
And they enjoy hearing about funny things that have happened to us. Dig into the recesses of your mind. What was your most embarrassing moment? What is your favorite childhood memory? Who was your best friend as a child? What was your favorite pet as a child and why? Tell them stories about these things and anything else you can think of.
My kids also like to hear about big events in our lives – our wedding, when we moved into our current house, the events surrounding their births (of course I edit out the really scary parts like the screaming and incredible pain). 
So get your creative juices flowing today and start talking! Sometimes it’s hard to get started, but once you do your kids will enjoy every minute of it!
TTAH Tuesday – Find a Home
This past Sunday sitting in church it occurred to me that my church is home to me. Well, ok, it’s second behind my actual real-life own home.
It’s a place where I feel completely at home with God. I worship there. I connect with other people there. It’s a place where I can be sure that when someone asks me how I am they really want to know the answer. My kids learn about God there – in a way that is meaningful and exciting to them. It’s a place where I am challenged to become more like Christ – and I am held accountable. I know if I need help – physical or spiritual – I can find it there. There are people there who love me and my family – and who have shown that love countless times by providing meals, help, and prayers.
Now I know that church is not about serving me – it’s not about finding the place that does the most for me. In fact, at it’s best a church should be a place where I can find opportunities to do God’s work. But in real life, it’s also a place where I can learn and grow as well, in community with others who believe in Christ like I do.
So my tip for today for those of you who don’t have a church home, or don’t feel “at home” at your church… find a home. If your church doesn’t teach the Bible in way that you understand, find one that does. If your church doesn’t have a children’s program that kids love, find one that does. If you don’t walk in the doors and find people there who know and love you, find a place where you can.
There are plenty of great Bible-teaching churches out there… so if you don’t walk in the doors of your church and feel at home, find a church where you can.
TTAH Tuesday – Words of Affirmation
Our ABF (Adult Bible Fellowship) at church (that’s code for Sunday School Class), we are doing a study called “Building Your Marriage”.
This past Sunday we were asked to go around the room and tell everyone one thing we loved or appreciated about our spouse. At first I thought it was kind of corny. But by the time we got around the room I was nearly in tears. Imagine 15 or so couples honestly saying what they love about their spouses. It was lovely. I heard words like support, dedication, dependable, commitment, passion, love, and fun. These are things that lasting marriages are made of.
Dave wasn’t even there, but it still felt great to tell everyone what I love about him.
So my tip for today is to tell your spouse what you love about them. Maybe you can even slip it in when you’re around some other people. Do it without expecting any kind of response. I think it does wonders for your relationship to be vulnerable and honest with one another and to build one another up with your words.
Take this step to make your marriage stronger and try this at home today! Let me know how your spouse responds!
25 years with diabetes: A Kaleidoscope of Memories
This year will be the 25th anniversary of my being diagnosed with diabetes. As I was thinking about that, and being thankful that I live now, when 25 or even 50 years with this disease is actually a possibility, I realized this disease has had a huge part in shaping the person I am now.
My father was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes the year I was born. So when I was diagnosed, at the very least I had some idea what it meant. But all this to say that diabetes was a part of my life even before my diagnosis. I feel like sharing some of my memories with you today. A lot of them are so vivid, I can even remember the details of the room I was in. This is kind of cathartic for me to write out and may be a bit long. I won’t be offended if you skim!
Here they are…
- Sitting in the doctor’s office at age 10 – seeing my mom cry. I felt scared and even a little bit guilty for being the reason she was crying. Funny thing is, I don’t remember crying myself.
- Before my diagnosis, I think I was maybe 7 years old, and being with my dad. He had a side job painting and wallpapering, and I happened to be with him one evening. On our way home, his blood sugar was going low. He must not have had any money with him because he didn’t stop for food. I remember actually wondering if I might have to learn how to drive in order to get us both home.
- Going weekly to the doctor’s office before school in order to get a fasting blood test. Yes, this was before the days of home glucose testing. The nurse would poke my finger and collect it in a capillary tube. After getting the test done, and before I went to school, Dad would take me out for breakfast. I didn’t like the doctor’s office, but I loved going to breakfast with Dad.
- The following Easter after I was diagnosed, I actually found the golden egg at the Easter egg hunt at the VFW down the street from our house. I had been going to this egg hunt ever since I could remember, but never got the golden egg. I won the biggest chocolate bunny I’d ever seen – and my sisters got to eat it.
- Practicing injections in our bathroom using an orange. Crying the first time I had to give myself a shot.
- My older sister being home with me on one of those early days when I had to give myself an injection. I think I was giving her a hard time about it. We were both crying. She told me that she wished that she could have the disease so I wouldn’t have to have it. I loved her so much for telling me that.
- My parents trying their best to encourage me, but I could tell it was hard for them, especially my mom. She wanted to give me what I wanted (read: candy, snacks, etc.) and it was hard for her to say no. A lot of times she’d give in. Now as a mom, I can imagine giving in sparked all sorts of guilt in her!
- My Dad’s repeated stints in the hospital due to his diabetes. I think it began about when I was in 6th grade, he went in at least once a year if not more. Amputation after amputation. I remember a chronic state of being worried about him.
- My own appointments with endocrinologist after endocrinologist. I went to the top pediatric endocrinologist in Rochester at the time… and I hated him. He basically told me I was going to die from this disease (looking back as an adult, he may have been telling me the truth, but it wasn’t the way to get a child motivated). He used scare tactics and I rebelled.
- For many years I rebelled – I didn’t test my blood glucose unless I was forced to. At a minimum, I did take my insulin. Probably because I was afraid of dying. Sometimes before a doctor’s appointment I would actually make up glucose readings or lie about high ones. Who did I think I was kidding?? I recall an HBA1C test of 13.9 (normal is 6.0), after which the doctor told my parents I needed counseling. I refused.
- Telling my mom one time that I was going to die from diabetes anyways, if I didn’t take care of it, I’d just die sooner. (Note to my 34 year-old self: I obviously needed counseling… I’m not sure why my parents didn’t force me. If I am in a similar situation with one of my kids someday – drag that child in!)
- Having two very scary insulin reactions during my college years. One was after a volleyball practice at Clarkson- it was probably a two minute walk from the gym to the dining hall. I didn’t even feel like my blood sugar was low before I left the gym, but I very nearly didn’t make it to the dining hall. Thank God my now husband was meeting me for dinner – he took care of me when I got there. The second was even scarier - it was after a class at U of M - I knew I was low, but also knew my lunch was in my locker and when I got it, I’d be fine. Problem was, when I got to my locker I couldn’t see the numbers on the lock in order to open it. I actually had to ask a stranger to unlock it for me so I could get food out of it. In neither case was I regularly checking my blood glucose, so of course I didn’t have a meter anywhere near me.
- While getting my master’s degree, I remember a very specific phone conversation with my Dad. He was telling me that his kidneys were failing and that he’d have to go on dialysis. He was very depressed and I could tell. He told me that people on dialysis don’t live very long – 5 – 10 years he’d heard. I didn’t know if that was true… but it made us both cry.
- Finally realizing at about age 26 that if I wanted to see my (future) kids get married, I’d better get serious about managing this disease. I found a fabulous doctor who doesn’t accuse, doesn’t try to manipulate by showing disappointment… just takes me as I am (and takes my blood sugar levels as they are) and works with me to improve them.
- Praying during my pregnancies (and still now) that my kids don’t develop this disease. I’m doing my best these days to instill in them healthy eating habits so that if they do, they will already have a good start at controlling it.
- I remember from an early on being concerned about dying early. My father’s death at age 60 was a wake-up call. Even now it makes me tear up thinking about it. But the thought of my kids’ future spurs me on to better control of my health. I want to see them grown, with families of their own.
Diabetes is MY way of life. All these experiences and memories have made me who I am. This wasn’t meant to depress any of you, but just maybe to help you understand. It’s probable that each and every one of you reading this blog know a diabetic (besides me!). Maybe this will help you understand them as well.
At this point in my life I can look back and see that having this disease has made me stronger emotionally, more disciplined than I might have been, and more compassionate with others who have chronic illnesses. God is in control and I know “…that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28 )
Thanks for sticking with me through my trip down memory lane!
