“Non-obligated”? Hmmm, not exactly…
Yay! We’ve finally got a buyer for our house and we’ve got a contract to buy another. It’s a huge understatement to say that I am excited.
Last night, we had a meeting with the bank mortgage guy. I left the meeting feeling, well, basically, useless.
You see, in bank terms, I am a “non-obligated borrower”?? What? In layman’s terms, I don’t bring in any income and so they really don’t acknowledge my existence. I understand it from their perspective, really I do. I was still surprised that they didn’t even need my signature - Not even once. Well, I guess they did bestow on me a title. But non-obligated? I don’t think so.
It was kind of a blow to me. Being the independent and educated person I am, and the fact that up until a few years ago I was gainfully employed and probably could have supported my family if necessary, I left feeling a little bit hurt. And annoyed. And feeling useless.
In my heart of hearts I know that my “work” now – my family – is my calling from God, at least for now. I know that even though I am not paid for “my work”, it is priceless. I know that there is no place I’d rather be than giving my 100% to them. I know that the time I’m spending with my kids has eternal impact. I know that my family could not operate the way we do without my efforts at home.
And to put it bluntly, I am more than a little bit obligated to these people that God has chosen to bless me with.
So regardless of my status at the bank, I am choosing to remember that God led me here, and he desires that I work at it with my whole heart. I am valuable to Him and to my family. And that’s all that matters!
Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Have you ever felt devalued by our society? What verse or verses helped you put it into perspective?
TTAH Tuesday – Cheesy Chicken Chowder
I tried this new recipe this weekend and thought I’d share it with you. It was really yummy and very easy.
Cheesy Chicken Chowder
3 cups chicken broth
2 cups diced peeled potatoes
1 cup diced carrots
1 cup diced celery
½ cup diced onion
1 ½ teaspoons salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ cup butter
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups milk
2 cups (8 oz) shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups diced cooked chicken
In a 4-qt. Saucepan, bring chicken broth to a boil. Reduce heat; add the potatoes, carrots, celery, onion, salt and pepper. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes or until veggies are tender.
Meanwhile, melt butter in a medium saucepan; add flour and mix well. Gradually stir in milk; cook over low heat until slightly thickened. Stir in cheese and cook until melted; add to broth along with chicken. Cook and stir over low heat until heated through.
Try this at home for a taste-test! Enjoy!
A Great Big Belly-Laugh
A few days ago I laughed. A great big belly-laugh. The kind that just bubbles up and you can’t control.
The cause was my 4 year old son. He has a big bouncy ball that’s made for hopping. He put on a funny hat and a clown nose that he got at the circus a couple of months ago. As he was bouncing, the nose kept falling off and he’d bounce around chasing it. It was hilarious.
Now I know that this doesn’t sound earth-shaking – and it may not even sound that funny in words (it’s a “guess you had to be there” kind of story). You’re probably even wondering why I’m blogging about it. But I learned something.
When I laughed, my kids just looked at me. All of them. A look of surprise – like they’d never seen this before. After I laughed, I realized that it had been a very, very long time since I’d laughed like that. I don’t even remember the last time, frankly.
I know I’ve always been kind of a quiet, keep-to-yourself, serious kind of person. But really, when did I get so not-much-fun-at-all????
I think when I had kids. Yes, they are altogether wonderful and parenting is joyful and rewarding. I love it and wouldn’t trade it for the world. But I think I very easily get caught up in the fact that I am parenting these little people and wowisthataheavything and whatifImessthemuprealbad? It’s some serious stuff, people!
And I guess I learned after that belly-laugh that I need to lighten up a bit. Let loose, laugh, have fun, enjoy… these little people of mine.
So if any of you are tempted by this heavy responsibility of yours to take life a little too seriously, know that you are not alone. Take a step back and breathe. Then laugh – loud and long and uninhibited. You’ll enjoy it and so will your kids.
TTAH Tuesday – Setting Goals
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
My tip for today is to set goals at least annually with your husband. We are both engineering-types, so goal-setting and list-making come naturally to us. We also have both worked in the business world, where this type of thing is encouraged and usually mandated.
Early on in our marriage, we applied this to our family. We find it best to do at the beginning of the year, but essentially you could do it at any time.
We get a babysitter and go out to dinner. This is definitely best done without the constant interruption of children!
We talk about where we want to be in one year as individuals and as a family. We try to set a couple of individual goals (e.g., lose x pounds, read through the bible, exercise x times/week, etc.). And then we also try to set family goals (e.g., family game night twice/month, go out on a date once/month, save x dollars, etc.). Often we pray about the items we put on the list – it’s a way to acknowledge that we are making plans but not forgetting that God is in control of our lives. (Proverbs 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps.”)
We find that the process of doing this really brings us together – emotionally and spiritually. We find that even after years of marriage, we still want a lot of the same things out of life. Sometimes we learn something new about the other person… it offers us the opportunity to see how each of us is changing and growing. And there’s something about just talking about the future – about your dreams and hopes – that can bring down any walls you’ve built between you and really help your relationship.
We also find that the reaching of the goals brings us together as well. We can encourage one another. Much of the time, the goals themselves are things that are meant to grow us as a family. We can also celebrate together when we reach our goals.
We’ve saved each year’s list of goals since we’ve been doing this. It’s amazing to go back and look at where we’ve been and where we are now. Doing that gives us a feeling of mutual accomplishment and hope for the future.
So I encourage you to think about doing this in your marriage. Don’t wait until the end of the year – start now!!
I will never…
This post could also be titled “stupid things I said before I actually knew what I was talking about.”
Since it’s still close to Mother’s Day, I thought I’d reflect upon some of the things I expected of myself and my mothering BEFORE I became a mom. Really, I had such high expectations. Unfortunately, I also had no clue. So here goes…
I remember believing that I would never…
- take my kids out in public with runny noses or food on their faces.
- let my kids leave the house in their PJs.
- let my kids watch more than 1 hour of TV a day.
- scream at my kids like a crazy woman.
- let my kids manipulate me into buying them candy.
- let my kids have candy right before dinner.
- bribe my kids with candy.
- let my kids have a temper tantrum in public (or bribe them to stop).
I really knew nothing about being a parent before my tiny first baby came into my life. It’s easy to say what you’d do in a particular situation when it’s never happened to you! But the fact is, mothering is way harder than I ever thought. If you guessed that all of the items on the list above actually have happened, you’d be right.
I still have a few expectations for the future of my kids and my parenting. I think I’ve learned, however, to expect that in a lot of ways these expectations are going to change as we go. I’ll have more information then. I’ll have more perspective. I’ll have a better sense of what really matters at that point in my kids’ lives.
So here are a few of my current expectations (notice how I’ve rephrased them…)
I don’t think I will -
- get my kids cell phones.
- let them have a TV in their bedrooms.
- let them date until they’re 16.
Check back with me in 10 years and see how we’re doing! Who knows, I might add these to the “stupid things I said when I didn’t have a clue” list.
What’s on your list??
(Oh, and by the way, I sincerely apologize to anyone – mostly my sisters – if I ever uttered in their presence one of my “I never”s in a slightly condescending manner in my pre-kid days. Live and learn, you know??)
TTAH Tuesday – Prayer
Looking to improve on your prayer life but don’t know how? Having a hard time staying focused during prayer?
I learned this as a young teen and it stuck with me. You may know another version of it, or if you didn’t grow up attending church much you may have never heard it.
I use the following to keep myself on track during my prayer time – the acronym ACTS.
A – Adoration (tell God what you praise about Him)
C – Confess (acknowledge your sins to God and ask for forgiveness)
T – Thanksgiving (tell God what you thank Him for)
S – Supplication (pray about your specific prayer requests)
Try this at home and see if it works for you!
Happy Mother’s Day!
There’s nothing more beautiful than the sight, and the smell, of your baby sleeping. You know I’m right, don’t ya, moms? Their sweet, peaceful little faces, and the smell of them. Don’t your babies smell the best?
I’ve had a week now of Ally in the full throes of teething… and in the middle of the night after I’ve rocked her back to sleep I get to enjoy the sight and smell of her. I am blessed.
This is what I want to remember this mother’s day. How about you? What do you want to remember?
TTAH Tuesday – Getting it Done
Overwhelmed with housework? Looking for a better way?
Here’s what works for me. I started doing this when I was a working mom, and it was a lifesaver. It still works well for me as a stay-at-home-mom.
I had felt like I could never keep up with the housework. Things piled up, and then I’d feel more and more overwhelmed. I lived in fear of anyone dropping by, and when we planned to have company I worked like a crazy woman for days to get things looking in order. So this is what I did:
- I took a good look at my priorities and made sure they were in order. God, family, friends.
- I analyzed my expectations. I realized I was expecting to have my house as clean as I did before kids. You know, the days when I cleaned EVERYTHING once a week whether it needed it or not. And as most of you know, post-kids, this is just not realistic. I also realized I needed to stop comparing myself to other moms. Enough said.
- I made a list of what I wanted to get done every week. (I asked myself, If someone dropped by, what would I want to make sure had been cleaned within the past week? and What is important for our health/hygiene to get done weekly?) My list is the following: bathrooms cleaned, kitchen cleaned, living room dusted, vacuum & mop floors, laundry. Your list might look different than mine… the beauty of it is that you decide!
- Then I assigned one item to each day of the week. I felt much less overwhelmed when I knew that I only had one cleaning item to fit in every day, and over the course of the week, all the important stuff would get done.
- This can be expanded to identify the things you want done every month, once a year, etc. Just assign that item to a certain week of the month, or month of the year!
I’ve been doing my housework this way for several years. I’m pretty flexible, if I skip one day, I just fit it into my week somewhere else. It’s a no fuss way to manage the housework. Obviously there’s a bunch of other stuff that isn’t on my weekly list that needs to get done, and I’ll do that when I have extra time, when it desperately needs it, or the age-old excuse of company coming over motivates me!
Try this at home and let me know if it works for you!
Follow the Clues
Someone was into trouble. Follow the clues…
Into Mom & Dad’s old cassette tapes. (I know, I know, why are we hanging onto these?)
Hmmm, interesting choice… (yes, a confession, mom & dad used to listen to Guns ‘N’ Roses)
Aha, the culprit, looking innocent. No need for CSI here.
We’ll have to get rid of the tapes before she learns how to use the stereo. What kind of parent would allow their children to listen to such music?
Have a great weekend!
